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i'm moving! moving, moved! perhaps livejournal attracts me more than diaryland, so i bid farewell to diaryland! :p Signed, 5:08 p.m.
i'm bai ka now. somehow it's once a year affair or something. like how my knee ligament distorted itself last year and i had to wrap that white piece of thing for a few days. fell down the stairs behind chem paper last week (dont add in the dramatic scenes and all, not that serious). hurt so badly. somemore i was walking down and this guy was walking up! when i fell, he actually asked if i was alright. nice person, but it was so malu. somehow i'm just so accident prone. and now my feet is swollen and knee ligament is displaced again (whatever it's called). and i've to bandage it for three days! i wonder how im going to go for paper on tuesday man. hooray! last paper on tuesday. not really that excited, cos i'm already in post exam blues! haha, yes blues. i wonder i should do during hols, other than my trip to thailand! yay, travelling without the family! exciting, though it's only like two hours or so flight from changi. oh well. and i so dont wanna meet an accident in thailand, i really hope i dont :X so now i'm forced to take on a job cos my sis insist that i should go and work and she's gonna find me one, and i'm forced to learn driving! so fatalistic. i rather be drived around man, or learn motorbike! haha, so havoc. but i wanna buy my own scooter next time! scooter and not motorbike! :D haha and i might get a chance to study overseas? but i bet my sis was bragging once again. oh well. s'pore's good :) let's get back to physics now! Signed, 3:24 p.m.
tuesday 13/11: chem papertwo and econs papertwo wednesday 14/11: econs paperone friday 16/11: chem paperone tuesday 20/11: physics paperone OMG! IT'S ENDING SOON! :D Signed, 2:32 p.m.
last week had been really stress(ed)ful, but thankfully it's over. although there's still one more event to plan, which is end year class party, i doubt that will be more stressful than lsat week, since everything is more or less planned. now for food planning :) farewell assembly was awesome! although it didn't feel like a proper graduation, totally different from sc style, but it's a totally different feeling. i dont have much feeling for sa, but it's quite sad to think that two years came and gone by, so quickly. this year's farewell's different from other years, since principal is graduating (retiring) with us. so there was farewell for us and her. first time i felt that she's actually quite nice. not sure if i'll miss sa, but i'll definitely miss times when we laugh like insane people, laugh until we felt so lost, and definitely as well, miss the people i know. after two years, not too short, neither is it long. the lessons i learnt from school, from cca, from people, are definitely something a once in a lifetime experience. farewell assembly was on thursday, and on wed, i was planning a last minute class lunch for s-twentyseven. it was so last minute, that i nearly gave up planning it. but im glad i didn't. though communication was still lacking, but at least majority of us turned up, and to me, that was a good sign and a recognition. i was forced to take on the job of a welfare rep unwillingly (and fate was decided by drawing lots), and this job is so full of crap and shit, and it's a stressful, tedious and no paid job, but if without this task, i guess i'll never ever do anything for this class at all. i hope for a reunion in probably ten years time or something :) the end of lunch marked the end of my very stressful job, not counting the planning for year end party. it's a load off, and thankfully there are people who recognises my hardwork! thank you, my post-less and always-have-to-do-the-thinking-with-me friend! she said, "class lunch had almost full attendance, surprisingly. the funniest parts were the chocolate liquor, YAM icecream (thanks ah chiam) and of course Aaron Choh, super bitchy haha. thank you Jasmine Chiam for trying to make the class lunch a good one. you see i'm trying to appreciate your efforts and for being so stressed up today haha." lunch was really funny, cos despite already crossed the eighteen line, the manager of billy's without allow students in uniform to order alcoholic drink. i wanted to order chocolate shake with baileys irish cream, and no choice, had to ask miss choo to pretend she's the one ordering. and the funny thing, the manager was still around, so he also had to pretend along and write down the order, although he heard the truth. hahaha, funny manager at billy's. so someone was saying (forgotten whom), so if an old man in uniform wants to order that drink, he's not allowed to as well. that was super funny. and i had to sit beside aaron, who made me so entertained with his remarks :p  a few of the proper class photos that we took. but actually, we took very few as a class. oh well. that's one regret. oh yes, must thank xuan for intro-ing me the use of picasa! :) Signed, 3:50 p.m.
it's ranting time. i'm so desufnoc, i dont know if what i'm doing is right or wrong. i cannot seem to think straight, think correctly, think of answers to chem questions, think of my revision plan, think of where i might have kept my red gp tys. this sounds stupid and it is. i hate alevels. alevels is an excuse. it's an excuse for people to kill people, for people to win people. it's only fair competition. the fittest wins and survives, leaving behind the hurt, wounded weaklings. working so hard, all for the most important three-weeks of the two years. can some things be differentiated easily by a line? can we draw the line now, and cross it whenever we like? then what is the purpose of the line? after doing two jc's paper three, i feel so demoralised. somehow, it feels like, our chem paper is so much easier, as compared to the rest. demoralised, demoralised. i'm gonna have to pick myself up from where i fell, using my own strength. surprise, surprise. i drew a thick, bold line, and all i got was "study hard for as", without any effort of holding me back. perhaps the past one month was nothing meaningful, nothing to hold on to. the hurting words from the message, simply made those times so worthless. it's gonna end soon. so, in conclusion, a combination of policies have to be implemented and there is a need for knowledge of the spill over effects of the policies, in the pursuit of economic growth in the country. i'm neurotic. Signed, 6:55 p.m.
bleah, i spent two hours of my time just now trying to move this blog to somewhere else. but in the end, i feel like deleting the newly made one. rubbish. anyway, that day after tuition on friday, i walked past this guy giving out brochures. it was nearly eight, and who on earth would be giving out brochures at such an unearthly hour? usually when i dont have much mood to take a brochure from these roadside people, i'll just shake my head to signal that "i don't want it". but when i saw this guy, felt this sense of sympathy for him since it was quite late and he was still giving out those papers. so i took one from him, not really planning to read, until something on the piece of paper caught my attention. it says "missing" and "i'm sorry" in huge bold. the bold words were really scary and much could be guessed from the other words on the paper. Jo's husband is very sad and looking for her. If you have seen her, please contact us at (this number). A message from Jo's husband: Jo darling, please come back to me, I'm very sorry for whatever I did. We should have gone to The Aisle. Please forgive me. i guess she's either too angry to even show up, or she's missing. this is scary because, how can someone, a bride to be precise, suddenly disappear and no one knows where she has gone to? just the other day, i chanced upon this blog, "advertising" for this missing nineteen years old girl. she has been missing since 30th june (i think) and it feels scary. i read eunice's blog the other day, then i realised, that missing girl, felicia, is actually her primary school friend. when such cases are reported in newspaper, there's this uncertainty whether those were reality. well, at least for me. but now, when i was given that brochure, or when i read about felicia, there is this insecurity. it feels like anytime, something might happen to anyone around me or even myself, and nowadays, there have more of such cases. where have these people gone to? are they really abducted by idiots? there seem to be no answer to all these. i just hope the missing people get back to their family as soon as possible, for it's causing physical and mental deterioration. haii. prelims results wasn't very great, neither was it very bad, considering my own standard. failed my h-one subs, but passed my h-two subs. something that has never ever happened before. and, i passed econs for the first time in my entire life! something to be happy about, but also something to be worried about. currently, i'm actually very motivated to study, but i dont know where to start from. it feels like i've to start everything from scratch and it's gonna take a long time. oh well. no more time to waste i suppose. twenty-nine days. Signed, 6:04 p.m.
despite how bitter life could and have been, the medicine still taste so bad, that bad. thinking that i've weak health, since im already sick for so many days, i was brought to a chinese physician today. two doctors in a row, i can't really take it man. since western med clashes with chinese med, my mom decided that i should just try out the chinese med instead. so today alone, i had two dosage of that black, smelly and bitter medicine. forced or willing, it still taste so horrible. even preparing water and starburst didnt really help much. when my mom was brewing the medicine, the whole house just stank. it was horribly, unbearable. the pre-made one wasn't an option cos my mom insisted that they have preservatives in them. oh well. she wanted the purest of the pure and even wanted to buy a new cooker to maximise its effectiveness. thankfully, my brother's in this with me. haha. he has been coughing since a long time ago, and tadaa! he has to drink too. a horrible kid he is, he tried to murder me earlier. his med dosage and mine are different and yet he spooned his into mine. thankfully it wasnt strong enough to kill me. oh well, i feel sick from the strong smell. it's sleep in tmr! :P Signed, 11:09 p.m.
my mom thinks i have dengue! so she just dragged me to the docs, and doc said he doesn't know what's wrong with me. basically, i've all the symptoms of dengue, except fever, or maybe slight fever two nights ago. she just loves scaring herself, by being scared by my aunt and granny, and in turn, i got scared too. somehow, it seems like, everytime i visit vivo, i'll end up going home sick. i hope it's not a curse, because i still wanna visit vivo for it's candy empire and to have long chats on the boring train. i really hope vivo doesn't have a curse on me. post prelim days totally suck. basically i only went to school on thurs and i felt like i made a wrong choice already. thurs is a tutorial day, supposed to have chem, math and physics. but in the end, phy tutor was on mc, math tutor said she was busy (cos she hasnt finished marking our papers) and no choice, we had to ask mr yeo to bring chem lesson forward since we had nothing to do. i went to school, thinking that i can get back at least three papers, and in the end only one. it was quite dumb, but it would be worse if mr yeo only returned like say, mcq results. that would really be so annoying. but fortunately, he's one of those tutors who get very excited about scripts and would mark as quickly as he can! and so, we got back all three sub papers for chem and got our overall grade. that's about it. school hasn't exactly been very exciting and even the entertainer is slowly withering away. Signed, 9:59 p.m.
yay! prelims is finally over :) school officially starts today, but i was home the whole day. head was feeling so heavy when i woke up and felt sick after i reached home yesterday night. had the "i am dehydrated (again)" feeling and i was right. oh well. so stayed home and spent my whole day watching telly and sleeping. napping was exceptionally good, since it was undisturbed. but had several dreams, which i thought was reality. just couldn't differentiate dreams and reality. hmm.. yesterday was finally the last paper of prelims. after the paper, didn't really have the last paper feel, but still went out. went vivo, caught subway, then watched ratatouille and omg, it's worth that five stars! somehow i thought that it kinda reflects the society a little. hmm. after the movie, walked around vivocity and it was kinda quiet man! walked into this pet shop and sometimes i really wonder, why on earth are petshop owners so biased against rabbits! they sell hamsters, guineapigs and dogs. but not rabbits! :( how disappointing. i thought my eyes were in for a feast, but... anyways, walked around and ate a lot. we kinda forgot about our plans for buffet, so i guess we've to make plans for another time! oh, had an unfortunate meeting with xuan too. haha (hope she doesn't kill me). and she was trying to flaunt to me, her wonderful holidays. going to sentosa, having marche. and no wonder she has no time for high tea! now we know the truth. she and her nonsense cca (is it touch rug still? but wait, how come there was this guy?) and wanling said one of her friends, who is that mysterious guy, was wearing "once a saint, always a saint" shirt. like hmm, and he didnt look like he was from sas, so... anyway, when i saw her, i felt a sense of familiarity! i miss sc so much. the last time i saw them was nearly a year ago, and still talk about high tea! where is it man! miss their nonsense and more nonsense! :( :( :( Signed, 9:06 p.m.
we shouldn't have chit chatted right before the chem paper yesterday. i felt rather guilty, knowing that that topic kinda affected us in some way or another. oh well. that was the insensitive part of me. i will learn to be more sensitive. chem paper yesterday was, rather simple i feel. there was this sense of familiarity, maybe because of the prelim papers that i got from bernice. many questions were really from there, and it was the same concept of doing and all. i'm not sure if it's a good thing, to make our prelims somewhat like past years papers, but it definitely made me felt good since i knew how to do. but i'm sure complacency will overtake the mind, so i'll just constantly remind myself of where complacency will bring me, and therefore not do it! oh gosh, so technical form of thinking. haii. the important dates are coming close, and it feels like i'm so gonna flunk all of them. math paper that day, totally killed me. at the instant when i saw the first question, the sight of me taking the As flashed past. i could imagine myself taking the paper at the instant, and it felt really bad. it's somewhat the first time i couldn't do a question even though i kept thinking and thinking. it felt like, my future is bleak and i'm just heading towards doom. but i'm so glad that this is prelims, because it means that i could only go up and not go down any further. the ability i have now, i suppose is the skill to think. think, think, think and nothing comes out of it. someone just jokingly mentioned "six months" and it kept me thinking the whole day. (i hope she isn't honoured that her words set me thinking..) i've thought hard, and more words of wisdom came to me. on one hand, i had to keep thinking and thinking. on the other hand, i'm so thankful i have people to give me their words of wisdom and to guide me along (and not forgetting the teasing and laughing i get). i have no idea if it was a mistake, but if it is, i have no confidence in making this mistake a right one. it's up to me, but i guess i waver too much, upon hearing so many words of wisdom. bleah. alright, i shall stop thinking about it! and i will look forward to events coming up! yay! :) like, a mooncake date, a study date, a coffee date! and a farewell! omg, so exciting (or im just getting myself excited) let's hope there's more :) and damn it, i still have one more paper to study for :( crap physics mcq man. maybe i'll heed her advice to buy the physics 1000 mcq, improve my mcq and only my mcq. bleah. Signed, 2:06 p.m.
i wanna express how happy i am, to retrieve something that i lost. even though it's just a really small issue, but i'm really thankful because so many people tried to console me. AND! two ended up saying the same thing! so coincidental, and they don't even know each other. shall talk about it another day. there's chem mcq paper to sit for tomorrow! but i'm already not in the mood to study. i'm gonna promise that i study really hard for As instead. i already have plans as to what to do to gain success! woohoo, i'm on the road to success! :D i need someone to sap my energy, getting a bit too high :p Signed, 10:08 p.m.
it's been so long. how rare actually. despite the looming prelims ahead, im still quite in a relaxed mood. but that's because prelims is really stressful! it's revising so much, yet you still can't do well because papers are set at a higher standard than usual. like knowing that econs papers will be so tough, according to teachers, yet we still have to study so madly and attempt to hope for a pass. hope. on a side note, someone just asked me why im home, and not out enjoying some pleasant moments. it's because of prelims! damn prelims. but it's alright, like what our rocking gp tutor would say, it's just another three more months! make it or break it! besides studying, i'm enjoying the moments when my phone beep actually. feel so blessed because i've heard from so many people whom i havent been talking to! hello xueyan and xuan! you both are forever and ever typing in that huge caps! and xueyan, as usual, you never fail to be the first! and xuan, high tea soon! my last paper on 18th sep! :D and to the rest, thank you all so much! to even set a reminder, or even remember it by heart, it just means so much more. im sure to keep all the msges and occasionally read them to make all of your presence felt! :D it's once again, time to do the yearly reflection on the past years :p Signed, 2:21 p.m.
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