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BACH TO THE BEAT! great and awesome concert yesterday night. the applause and encore piece "deep purple medley" marked the end of my last concert with sajc concert band. after we started the concert with the first piece, i felt so poignant (not sure if it's the way to use this word). went backstage after the first piece, decided to take a short walk from stage right to stage left, to find miss ho backstage, watching the band. we just sat down and talk, "oh gosh, my last concert with sajc band." then we started getting emo about this graduating concert for j2s, like how the oh-six batch came a long way, with so much obstacles and how much trouble we got into, to reach this far. we grew, we matured, from a batch of unbonded ties, to a batch of nearly a family. we might have lost the elements to be a family, but i'm sure we still do care for each other, isn't that what matters still? this journey would never be complete without a section like mine. this section gave me opportunities to learn about people, to mature, to improve my standard, to make me love the moments i have in band. i also realised that, in this world, there is only white and black. it's as if no one out there ever considers the grey factors and right equals to right. there could be wrong to a right, isn't it? we are one family and we will strive to the best of our abilities. i'm sure we'll make the remaining eleven days more fulfilling than ever. the stage is ours! Signed, 11:47 p.m.
i'm quite lost for not being able to participate in this year's my first concert with the section. we would have been the only section which has full attendance! but well, mom was just being weird. she organised this birthday party for my cousin's parents (auntie and uncle), and the turnout was pretty small. the food was like, normal despite it being from four seasons. not sure if it's the hotel, but i guess not. maybe mom ordered the cheaper one since the group of us is really small. but well, the entertainment comes from laughing at my stupid cousins, and the highlight seemed to be shaun, our homegrown botak now. he was telling me about his own sajc life, and how i should really prepare and chiong for block test two! well, i'm already dedicating my june hols for block test two! but before that, it'd have to be my japan trip! :D newly scheduled japan trip right after syf. don't ask me, "what about school"? i've to go to japan anyway, so i'll just miss school. it'll be my motivation to work hard for As i suppose, since japan isn't very cheap a place to visit. reason for going, hmm. i've to go meet eugene there, cos he's flying back from texas, but well, it's just an excuse. alright, i can face reality that things sometimes just don't go your way. but do i really have to take things like, "sorry, i can't make it for your concert. so sorry" to learn that reality is harsh? so much for this concert being my last one, and yet support isn't coming from anywhere. say you know me, you're my best, but never will you understand what i have to say about all that you've done to me. Signed, 11:44 a.m.
i dreamt that someone gave me a pair of rabbits for some occasion, which i cant remember. but that pair of rabbits resemble perky and gribbles so much, i'm starting to miss them again. i remembered on sunday, mom startled me by lying to me that she threw their cage away! i was damn pissed off, i screamed at her, and couldnt help it, i was getting teary. but i think i secretly knew that the cage was still at home cos i warned her many times not to throw it away, and she knows the consequences. i guess i'll never ever throw that cage away, if even it rots and corrodes away. secondary schools syfs are finally over! sometimes we really will not get what we desire, but as long as we put in our best, who can say we aren't the best! i am so proud of them all, my dearest scband, the andrews and of course the patricks! who cares if it's silver, gold or honours! you love it, we love it, they love it, heck it man! today was impactful. my head started throbbing like nobody's business and this afternoon there were signs of fever. ah, terrible. it seems like germs are hopping from body to body and it's proven by miss choo! when i went to ask her for green slip for me and hoho earlier, she said she ran out of them! oh gosh, everyone's just asking for green slips! but i didnt need one, unless for that up! programme, which in other words means, remedial. i could barely stay focused during the different tutorials today, cos of the bad headache, what more a lecture at 5.30pm!? i finally finished that huge pile of unfolded clothes just now. feel so relieved, and no one will nag at me for the unseen clothes. and yes, thanks to my dearest percussion section, i finally sold the ten plus yingjia's ten tickets for concert Bach to the Beat! actually i wouldn't force anyone to go, or at least i'm not planning to persuade people to come, but yeah, somehow percussion usually gets my wrath when i just used a little bit of my persuasion, and poof! i kinda got pissed off when they were coming up with so many reasons for not coming. but nevertheless, they're the cutest bunch of girls that i'll ever have. they always talk about things that i dont do, like channel five shows (prison break, amazing race etc) and football (ronaldo etc etc etc). so i'll end up with no topics with them, and also end up laughing at how auntie they are. luckily my current sec twos are of similar frequency to mine. heh :) headache, go away! :( Signed, 9:54 p.m.
i'm counting down, i've no idea why either, when she disappointed me, gave me hope and disappointed me again. i gave the piece of my mind, i gave my honest views, i gave my heartfelt opinions, yet whether it's taken as positive, i've no idea. i've been through the road that she's going through and i know exactly how things should be like. i really have faith in them, i really do. but it doesn't seem like anyone believes me. if there isn't faith, who would even bother to go back? i'm accountable for my own actions and even if things won't turn out the way we want it to be, at least i know i've tried my best, and helped with what's within my means. yesterday night on my way home from pasir ris, jasmine ngu asked me something that triggered my flow of thoughts. she asked, what motivates me to go back so often? i nearly couldn't answer her. i really don't know what motivates me to go back. maybe it's the people, maybe it's the desire to be part of their journey. i only knew that i cannot forsake them when they're on this journey. but to think about it, even if it's not for this journey, i tink i'll still go back that often. we concluded that it's the innocence and purity of this band, that makes us go back this often, and enjoy ourselves even though there's age gap or things like that. okay, enough of ranting. yesterday had band orientation! it was quite fun, but i didn't get to see all the teams at my station and to see everyone's features all squeezed to the centre. it was really funny and it was even caught on video! hahaha. i think wanling's group has the best members, all so on and enthu, and they entertained us, the station mistresses, very much. with all their enthusiasm and teamwork, and with the bai ka one, they earned the highest point on our list, beating the rest with twenty-one upon twenty-five points! i swear i wasn't biased! even elissa agreed with me on the points! we wanted to give full marks, but too bad there wasn't competition. i had fun and i hope the j1s had too! they said station masters have the easiest job, but not lor. tough job! but luckily it's done! phew. & at 4.38pm; i just got reminded about the stupid manual slide! okay, there's this huge metal slide at pasir ris park and it's the symbol of my station! then out of pure boredom, i took the slide, THREE TIMES! it's really a manual slide, i never lie. OH GOSH. so embarrasing cos i think two groups at alison's station were laughing at me. like, i'm sorry i had to walk down from the tall slide cos it's not working and not slippery. and i'm very sorry to the different teams cos my clue is a bit hard. it was supposed to be easily initially. but cos there was a breakdown in communication, so dont know if it turned out hard. green minus blue trombone, which means yellow slide cos i thought i heard the slide as yellow. but no! it was a metal one. so oh well. the groups managed to find their way anyway, so yaye! success! Signed, 6:42 p.m.
when you prove me wrong, give me your strong argument and you stand. when you stand, prove to me that it was a nightmare i experienced and it will eventually turn into a beatiful reality. Signed, 11:26 p.m.
despite spending a wholesome sum of nine hundred bucks, i'm still getting subpass or rather, ungraded grade for physics. had to beg miss tan to give me one pathetic mark to get S, instead of the usual U. it sapped off my energy because i had the acting element in my begging, the usual pouring and pathetic look. tried, did it, and so the results show. why do some people so luckily get B grade? the so called tycos (points finger to hoho). life is more than block tests one and more than just stress. there's still mudpies and erm.. more excitement! anyway, photos!  this was supposed to be my pencil case, the pencil case that made me go gaga!  but in the end i exchanged it for this! okay, but now it's not in this tip top condition anymore. it has scratches all over it, so painful.  royce chocolate! the only box i bought for valentine's day, and i was damn proud of it! because first time what! i think there's still a few pieces in my refridge. but it's not spoilt yet, because my sis koped a few, and she hasnt gotten a diarrhea (okay i dont think this is the spelling, but anyway). i found out that my month of march has damn few photos! actually there's only one, and it's..  of our birthday girl, yishiuan! :D she looked happy, and of course, she had four slices of cake please! so loved (by us) :D month of feb!  i remember that's the wednesday's prac before the os results. not that the release of os results was any of my business, but yeah, it was damn fun to have such a big band! :D  then there was jo's farewell at the airport. only pity that no juniors were there and i'm glad she really believed that i had something important on that day, but it didn't occur to her that she was the something important! <3  then there was cny celebrations, which was also celebrations for becca's and regina's bdays!  ooh! this is the mudpie from the coffee club! it's damn good! and i'm so glad that i had it for valentines! <3 month of jan!  mr koh's farewell, by us! great job to us man! it was quite last minute planning and i'm glad that the food was damn good, thanks to malay stall auntie and her cheap deals! :D filled stomachs, happy faces! :D anyway, a little publicity here! SAJC Concert Band presents, "Bach to the Beat!"! 28th April 2007, 1930h at Singapore Conference Hall. tickets are priced at $12 each :) so please come support! my last concert with sajcband :( repertoire includes beauty and the beast, simple gifts, ivanhoe and rock and roll explosion, featuring music from the classical era to modern times! please please please come! :D Signed, 5:36 p.m.
the life as a youtuber, starts.. tomorrow. but i'm already starting to youtube around, since tmr's last physics paper is gonna be a killer for me anyway. though i spend like nine hundred bucks on physics tuition already, but so over charged and he likes to tell me his history stories, about random physics do-you-know facts which i'm totally not interested in. oh well. anyway, i'm really glad that block test is coming to an end! though some people can excitedly claim that they've already ended, like yesterday or today. but never mind, one paper each day makes life not so stressful. summary of block test journey: the teachers are out to kill us. didn't have time to complete any paper, but it's not like i took my own sweet time. it was a battle against time, so tiring, so draining. results dont really bother anymore cos a sense of great relief after the paper feels much better than results. but okay, who doesnt want good results man. now i finally see that getting As is seriously so tough. alright, not a single A for block test one at all. maybe i should just move towards block test two =X i already made plans to study for block test two alr! which is in july. how fast. but think think think. there'll be more topics and chapters to be covered for block test two, don't start now, then when! quadruple as, here i come! :D havoc plans start tmr! woo! studies can come after may or something :p and what's the claim about quadruple as. all the way, all the way, all the way for the last paper! physics time! Signed, 1:29 p.m.
block test (or bock test) kills brain cells. in no time, everyone will just be dead with limited number of brain cells. oh well. maybe block test isn't as important as it may seem. but still, let's attempt to pass it. staying at home is terrible. dont even have the motivation to set foot at the doorsteps of library or macs. the whole house is empty of food and i actually forgot to prepare rations for this war. oh hell. this holiday is just wasted on studying and slacking. wasted the first three days of holidays youtubing, which is seriously highly addictive man! that was my motivation to finish up my organic chem mcq qns as quickly as possible so that i can watch the loaded show on youtube. so the ratio is fifteen minutes of mcq-ing to sixty minutes of youtubing! how complacent. whenever i see the rest mugging away, i realised i dont exactly know the meaning of mugging since i dont think mugging has been what i've been doing. it leaves behind a tinge of sadness, knowing that a faint line of ostracism exists cos you're not mugging as hard as the rest. let's ace those subjects slowly la, huh. besides, cannot let the one, who sends a friendly reminder to me consecutively for two days, down! the reminder to "must study okay!", "stay focus!" and "go chiam!". gosh, it pricks my conscience sometimes if i let my mind go wild and be tempted by youtube. one good role model :) and the reason why i'm appearing here, to log onto moodle! seriously turning into my all-time favourite "favourite"! it's the place where last minute studying helps and all the resources! not very useful, but still useful. especially econs, cos they're all there! but econs, a bit no hope. best subject, and in the end, the number of distinctions fell! the only hope, just diminished like that! this is getting scary. Signed, 4:13 p.m.
i feel the motivation. to want to excel in the responsibilities that i have. to not only get out of msp, but to catch up on fundamentals and do consistently well so that it wont pose if as i was gonna flunk those As(s). what a time to have earthquakes shaking the ground beneath our feet. but nevertheless, once in a lifetime experience man! it was so exciting! i thought i was going to faint for the first time in my entire life! but no. it was serious matter, that swept people out of their classes, towards the so-called safe grounds. despite being in precarious situation, people still cheered and continued to laugh, although it was an earth-shaking number three on the richter scale. not sure if three was exactly the number, but if we felt the tremors, what then, is the extent of damage in indo summatra? missed half of econs and math tutorials, thanks to the tremors. i didnt watched the scene where my tutor was so terrified, that she hang onto the table, not knowing what to do, but i'm pretty sure it was freaking funny cos everyone was talking about it. damn, i wished i could laugh that much too. "what do we do now? continue with lessons?" i remembered that's what she said when class girls were signalling that they felt tremors again. that was the second time. yesterday was pretty unstable too. maybe we were mentally unstable too. haha. we thought we felt tremors, but maybe we just felt fainty and giddy, yeah? i didnt really like the idea about dying in not-at-home areas, so the moment we had the it's-coming feeling, we so want to evacuate our homeroom. but seeing that other classes seem pretty peaceful and calm, then again, maybe we were just being paranoid. call me timid, i dont care. oh well. forget about earthquakes! concentrate on block test! urgent need of compass! eugene took the super high tech compass over to texas, leaving none or maybe the laopok compasses at home, like who would use them for exams la! and that day bryan was screaming over broken set squares and demanded new ones. so spoilt. but yeah, it's time to do more shopping at popular bookstores again. i just went about a week ago la! :( chem syllabus for block test is out to kill people. whole of organic chem, but three physical chem topics. not to mention econs as well. or maybe math too! like every topics' syllabus are out to sweep people off their feet! how to get out of msp! Signed, 2:25 p.m.
ethan brought me laughter and smiles today! :D he's so adorable :D i finally sorted out my thoughts yesterday and i really felt so relieved. i just suddenly don't have the urge to speak to anyone anymore, but it wouldnt be exactly a good solution to all. i hope i'll stop being parasite to everyone. as usual, motivational talks usually have their use on me. after seeing seniors collect their results, feeling happy for them and all, i sense the urge in me wanting to do well. i really badly want to get out of msp, because it's disgusting and i hate the stringent rules. but who gives a damn now. there's vectors lecture test tmr, and im very not confident about it. but nevertheless, we all must be motivated to study! get out of msp! Signed, 4:14 p.m.
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