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life is so fragile. it's when you think that your life is going to be filled with lots of happiness and joy, that disappointment strucks you harder than expected when things fail. perhaps it's a wrong decision to stay on to help us, to help something that probably doesn't deserve any help at all. her love for us is recognized because we feel it and we know it. but she's giving more than taking, that she's taken for granted. her sacrifice for us is too great, that i dont know what's there left to do in return for her. i will aim for four Cs for block test. for myself, and for her. and the battle begins now. Signed, 5:26 p.m.
i have a friend called pearl or pearlie ho, who is super retarded and idiotic that no one, and i mean no one, can compete with her. her retarded-ness is so bad, that omg only people like us can stand her. and to deal with her, i had to search for a secret weapon, and that is my scissors which can be used to snip off her not-very-good-looking hair. i wanted to talk about her retarded-ness since i told her i will, but not now because there's a freaking math test tmr, and i still have my gp paper one analysis thingy to do. okay analysis just makes it sound cheem-er, but no, it's just some assignment. by the way, her real name is bernice ho. Signed, 9:52 p.m.
i must tell the world of my new little obsession, with a story that comes along. i think everyone will just go, eww, or yuck, or oh my god because it's so rare and nobody will ever think that way, except me. oh well. I WANT A PET PIGlet! it's not the soft toy kind, but the real one! those you see in erm, zoos, farms, and not babe please. those you can touch, feed, talk to and take for walks! i really really really want one, and it all started with the story. a pretty long one. piak! dert dert dert dert dert. that's how my pig will start running around in circles. it may sound like a horse, but a whip on a horse onto a pig will probably kill my pig. no no no. my pig must survive. but i will not talk about my story because it's embarrassingly kiddish and everyone will laugh at me and (start of weiyun's theory) then everyone will not talk to me, shun me and i have no friends because nobody talk to me and in the end i become a loner. hahaha. crap theory, but it's really funny because i remember her saying it in the really sad way. and i still want my pet pig! :D okay classboard is in a big mess, and i so dont want to take up the responsibility to decorate it because what goes into my hands will probably come out so ugly and ugly and freaking ugly. but i guess it's a job that no one will take and omg, why are there so many things to do! but once this week is over, there'll be less to do, i hope. i realised the people with lots of baby blubbers are the funniest people in the world. nowadays, i'm getting used to going home with fungyin and she's a joy to have as company. she's always laughing and always making me laugh, and we share a common eyecandy! :D but he's getting so sunken and his hair's kinda screwed too, i bet he's damn stressed. oh well. anyways, she's gonna show me her latest eyecandy soon, i hope. and omg, she's a totally similar kind of me. like we aim at the same kind of people, and like some people might say, paedophiles, but not for the exact reasons like sexual attraction :X but to begin with, there're not many cute people around to really look at, and school life is just so boring without anticipations and excitement and hyperventilations. oh! and there's bean also, because fungyin was telling me about his proud 98kg (is it?) and there's also vanessa gohh, who's also so funny. it's a sunny yellow banana day. being part time entertainer, i seem to come up with so many weird, random and lame things to do everyday. just the other day i was inventing some new game using the scissors, and just another day i was singing all the really random songs available. thankfully, there'll be like people missing my presence when i'm not around, ie bernice. and i even got a terribly early morning call some tuesday when i skipped school. okay i found it terribly embarrassing, but i guess i'll talk about it since it's just for laughs. remember it's just for laughs, spare the tease. yishiuan was talking about new urban male the other day, somehow i forgot how it was linked to push up briefs, and so we were talking about push up briefs. i didn't know what they were exactly talking about and it was super embarrassing because i thought push up briefs were meant to use during push ups, like for dont know what reasons, just push ups. i thought it was like, swim suits for swimming that kind. super embarrassing. everyone just laughed at me and thankfully, no one else was in class. okay, but now the whole world knows. oh yes! i finally know how to play bridge! how exciting, maybe i should prepare a deck of cards everyday when i go to school! :D okay i cannot spell cereal because i spelt as cerel and the whole class laughed at me. Signed, 8:41 p.m.
if one day i have to start counting my blessings, i think i'll have to take a piece of paper and get a pen, to write down those who really mean a lot to me. the list will probably be never ending, because there are so many people who made that significant impact in me. thanking for these blessings, i guess it's never enough. cherishing them would make a better decision :) i feel so loved :) math test was horrendous. just when the next third week started, homeworks and datelines are pouring in like nobody's business. it's like a non-stop cycle, and a very vicious one. just when i thought i can take a day off from school with the flu bug attacking me, the flu bug had to fly away to someone else and leave me stranded with no flu :( the next thing i want, is probably to lose my voice again. sec four days were especially happening because i remember the period of time when i totally lost it, and though it was a bit of hell time, i wasn't made to talk much and i have all the time in the world, to be in my own world. i miss losing my voice and i need some recollections of how i lost it two years back. Signed, 12:39 a.m.
1. A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy. 2. An instance of contented self-satisfaction. the school's tying those advanced students down, for msp. stay in school till 5.30pm everyday unless on cca days, and there's still cca. why dont they just build up some hostel for people who spends most of their time in disgusting school? i just cannot pretend i want to study, i can only hope that i can study and things get in. i got everyone into trouble, i'm at fault. i cannot seem to hold on to anything at all already. even for something that i love so much before, i'm slowly letting go. the sour feeling can never be neutralised. my vison is becoming blurer and blurer. i can never see what lies ahead of me, i can never see the route that i'm taking. i hope i'm not going blind. i'm sorry. Signed, 11:04 p.m.
a series of unfortunate events. someone asked me a frequently asked question. though the situation is nearly at its edge, i was being so optimistic, saying that things should be alright, this and that. i believe things will eventually be alright. and just as i need my ruler to draw the (damn) graph, it disappeared. ruler's the essential thing for curve sketching and i had to lose it. maybe it's an omen. maybe it is. i'm pretty excited about tomorrow because we're going to help miss choo sell the fund raising saints tee! :) luckily there's still spontaneous kailing who's also interested and of course, sylvia. but in any case, i need to sell off my orange halo tee shirt! :( i already have orange saints tee, and too many oranges doesn't make it very healthy. the plastic cover's gone, it's been washed once, but no! i've never worn it before. i hope someone will buy it from me soon. maybe i should bring to school and see if miss choo can help :) this week is seriously sooooo hectic. it seems like there's homework everyday, and it's non stop. i haven't had time to meet up with so many people, and something's pricking :( but next week won't be any better. there's damn math test on monday and econs test on someday. even miss choo doesn't know when's the test, so it sounds pretty screwed. please sound optimistic. i'm deriving little joy here and there from daily normal randomness, madness and pigg-ness. and i know bernice just can't stand me singing her favourite song, and kailing can't stand me asking for opinions on what other food i can buy after the first meal. just today, i made up this blur-face thing during math, and i guess yishiuan's amused by me. stare at the teacher when she's explaining, then give her a blank face. i hope it'll work pretty soon, then she'll chase me out of class. but i did my work! so maybe she'll put me at some corner. hmm. i want to sell tee shirts and collect $! :D Signed, 10:15 p.m.
for a third jan baby, happy birthday diana! for a sixth jan baby, happy birthday hweemin! for a seventh jan baby, happy birthday dearest! birthdays are the most happening events now. it feels nice to wish someone happy birthday, knowing that the person will receive your heartfelt blessings! :D i'm happy enough to give my wishes to someone lovable :D i guess different schools have their own different sets of teaching. being in different schools for after a year, i've just noticed the great difference. perhaps it's commitments, different friends you get together with, that now the feeling is different. learn to let go, does it have to be this case? oh damn. there's disgusting pe tmr again, at the smelly gym. gosh. i think i'm just gonna hog onto the treadmill and start brisk walking like mad. and there's scary gp tmr too. crapppp. every after-gp-lesson, i'll just feel totally drained because it's a lesson that you have to keep thinking, keep focus and keep clear. when on one hand i keep swearing and cursing at my disgusting new timetable, on the other hand i shouldn't be because i should be thankful for i don't have three end-at-5.30pm days like kenny. in fact, the latest i end is 4.30pm on disgusting tuesday. hopefully it won't turn out to be someday which i'll choose to declare a day off :x hell for me man. this morning when i woke up, i naturally walked to my incredible huge-screen telly to watch my tv channels. and damn shit. my telly couldn't work! thought i could count on the other not-so-huge-screen telly, damn i think the connection thingy's damn screwed too. so now i'm left with no tellys to watch and i'm just gonna die. perhaps it was fated, but too much a coincidence man. with the tons of unfinished holiday homework, my tellys had to crash at this point of the time, on a sunday to add on. who said sunday's a rest day? even saturday cannot be considered a rest day. but well, yesterday i went for prac feeling happy and excited. in the morning, i was greeted by my cute neighbours, who are ever so carefree, happy, laughing and smiling :)  i haven't got a chance to take a recent picture of them, but they dropped by over just the other day. and adsel, who didnt like talking to me last time, started chatting with me, asking questions and always eating :D nicole was behaving like this big sister, looking after her little brother. damn cute :D the excited part comes from jasmine ngu's first band prac! i was feelng excited for her because it's gonna be quite exciting for her to be in a new band, with totally different sets of teaching. i'm so glad there's gonna be a continuity to "one scbandit per batch"! :D Signed, 7:10 p.m.
the world's going too fast, that i doubt anyone has the time to slow down to look at things that are happening to the world. i'm too tired to carry on. it's like working nonstop everyday, doing things that you don't know if it's gonna work out. it was kinda the rainy season last week. just on new year's day, it was raining, but sunny. so a rainbow was kinda expected, and yes! it did appear. nigel was asking if we wanted to go to the end of the rainbow to find a pot of gold. i told him, we'll never find one. the rainbow kinda landed on someone's place, in the middle of the chuntin road estate.  well, i attempted to take photos of the rainbow cos it gave me hope the moment it appeared, when my mood was at the bottom of the pit. probably like the carpenters song, rainy days and mondays always get me down, but it wasnt a monday. anyways, as i was going to my grandma's place, something caught my eye! another rainbow!. it was damn cool, like two rainbows in the same area, and i was lucky to be able to see both! :D it's not that i've never seen rainbows; i took photos everytime i sense a nice angle! :D okay, i'm plain childish. getting all so excited just over rainbows. bleah. everything's screwed up again. my gp holiday homework is yet to be completed and it's due monday. there's so many things happening next week, it's getting a bit scary. and seriously, the vibes about being a j2, like the stress, the homework, the preach every morning, is ringing now and then. i love physics, and it's an irony. Signed, 11:08 p.m.
how seriously unfortunate. it has only been two days since school started, and seriously (again), it's so draining. everyone i spoke to seemed to agree in unison, when i thought i was the only one who felt that way. yesterday was like, woo! tiring. band prac all the way till seven plus. it's not very slow moving or anything, but it felt really long, like every minute was ten times more. super draining. today! omg. there's like stupid afternoon pe slot, but luckily we ran our round before the orientation games start so it didnt feel so maluating. it was disgusting like how there was no notice given to us that we were gonna take height&weight! damn it. i've totally over shot my four bags of 10kg rice target by like four bags of 1kg rice and two bags of 100g rice :( :( :( it's time for workout to shed those blubbers! don't think there's any need for them to keep me warm. i need a magic pill so that i can finish up all my work, to hand them up. but i doubt there's such a pill. Signed, 11:11 p.m.
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weirui. eighteen to be. diaryland misc. 06; march. april. may. june. july. august. september. october. november. december. 07; january. february. march. april. may. june. july. august. |