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yes, i realised i'm no longer still sixteen. but being seventeen isn't very nice. beginning of seventeen days were full of sadness, i don't know why. just melancholy mood. school's getting scary. just yesterday, a scholar committed suicide from some building. i heard, due to depression of some sort. but perhaps, it doesn't matter why he did it. he probably didn't think of his parents, but should he be blamed? faults are being pushed around. what's the commotion about! only after things have happened, people repent on them. it makes the heart cry for the fellow saint and there's this sour, sad feeling. but he probably has thought hard about it, since he left a death note as well. but is there no solution to what he was suffering from? why do people have to end their life at such expense? this whole period of time was just abnormally strange. it did occur to me that, why is everything so in melancholy mood? there's no drive that past few days, i remembered. thinking back on jbf day, i think i really wanna thank jiahao. when we did rehearsals, he knew i made errors but didn't pick much about them. then after rehearsals, he'll come to me and practise with me. aww, thank you so much, jiahao! :D and anyways, woohoo! pirates was just awesomely good, heavenly great! finee, it wasn't perfect, but in just one week, we could do it! :D and oh my gosh, the st. stephen's kids are so doubly cute! when they heard that we're playing pirates, they just screamed and cheered and oh my gosh. so cute!! :D and i had some great time looking at little kids, smiling and laughing away. my heart just melts at little kids. and yes, i'm a paedophile, but correct to a certain extent, for i'm not sexually attracted to little kids. thank you. but that day was embarrassing, got found out for tou-pai-ing this little cute boy. it was just too embarrassing to renact the situation again. and anyways, pirates! woohoo! did the solo and it was damn cool. i was partially whacking, but would gladly love to, but nope. then hooray! i can be heard in the recording! :D this is a happy thing for me :D okay, i confess that i missed three bars of my score, but it doesn't matter. i enjoyed very much! isn't that the main point of performing? i conclude, happiness comes naturally. trying to be happy, it wouldn't be natural at all. Signed, 5:53 p.m.
i wasn't in form today, not in terms of playing, but as a human body. it is obvious, i know, but i cannot help but react that way. innocently, it's not the issue about getting angry. sad, i am. but i didn't allow myself to let my own feelings overtake my playing today. the mistakes i made, were really mistakes and it's not that i didn't focus or anything. i did my best. but i know i will be in tip-top condition tomorrow during jbf. i know i will be. even if i'm not in form again tmr, it's my fault only. but i promise myself, i will do a fortissimo solo tmr. Signed, 11:17 p.m.
i wanted to remember how my last hour of being sixteen was yesterday, and all i can rmb was, my attempt to cut through the cold icecream cake at 11.30pm. there was a suggestion; to cut at twelve, but everyone was too lazy and tired and sleepy. we waited for one plus hour for some crab beehoon soup thingy. was forced to cut my nice cold icecream cake first, then next was eugene's, then adeline's. like wooh! so this year, my mom went crazy and decided to buy like three cakes. basically, i so wanted my icecream cake, and stupid brother wants the sweet secret one, so mom decided to get one for each. like hur, waste money. but! i guess it's alright for me cos i'm craving for chocolates! :D sharing the same bday as two other siblings wasn't very fun the beginning few years, if i can recall. until when she was twenty-one, we had this huge disco party in my function room, and it was so fun and exciting. it was that day when baboom (and i forgot the other's name) were given to us. ginger and snowflake were bought before my bday, and i rmb bringing them to the function room to show off :) then last year, i rmb i was asked to go to school early. i didn't suspect much but i was excited. my dearest perckies made me walk around the corridors, made me close my eyes and walked to the sec one classroom area. and there i saw on the table, a huge cage with this black-white thingy sitting at one corner, in the cage. i miss perky so much. i miss him so much that i really want him back so badly. it was my fault that he wasn't feeling good. it was my fault that i didn't look after him properly. it was my fault that i didn't bring him to the vet asap. and he had to leave me, leave gribbles a day after he was given to me. i really feel guilty. i didn't look after him properly, i let my dear perckies down. they spent a lot on him and i really let them down. i rmb crying the whole morning the moment i knew perky left me. i didn't want him to go, i wanted him to come back, but i made the decision to bury him. i couldn't bury him myself in the grass patch downstairs, i knew i wouldn't be able to let him go. everytime i think of perky, there is a guilt in me. but i know i love him so and it's not the guilt that's making me love him. i love him a lot and i love him for he's the love between me and percussion. as the past was being reminisced, the tears slowly rolled down the cheeks. it didn't matter who walked past her room, while she stares at her screen, thinking about who she misses the most currently. she knows that he'll never ever come back again but nevertheless, she misses him. and once again, the tears start to roll down, to find nowhere else to flow. so i have three cakes waiting to be eaten up! :) and oh! i must say that my birthday wouldn't be complete without those lovely birthday wishes, those hand shaking wishes, those shocking wishes, those "oh, today's your bday? happy birthday" wishes. i feel really blessed, with so many people around me, who made the effort to wish me. it didn't matter if there weren't presents or cakes or candles. i am happy :) and, happy birthday, my dearest sister and brother! :D and ten other other people who share the same bday! i wish that everyone who love and are loved are happy forever :) Signed, 10:04 p.m.
the excitement from shopping at swee lee comes from buying the rain stick that we need for pirates. going all out, i told myself i must get it. the rain stick was very crucial for our perf on sunday and we must have it. when i text miss ho to ask her if we could get it, pointed out the importance of having it for our perf etc, she said, if it is needed for your performance, i guess it is not a problem to purchase one :). that statement made me so excited about going down, made me so happy that, yay! we can buy the rain stick!. i remember telling wanling that, and she got so happy too! before i went out, before i asked miss ho if we could get the rain stick, i didn't want to leave the house, like feeling all so lazy, wanted to watch tv, wanted to sleep some more, wanted to study a little bit of organic chem. but when i was given the green light to buy the rain stick, i was like, omg hooray! i just dashed out of the house, though my mom refused to give me cash to buy the bolero sticks i wanted. i told her that i'll just pay by nets, and she just flared. finee. i know i nearly went bankrupt since i've been using nets pretty often. after all that hassle about where's the instrument, how can i get it, omg i have to reserve (?) and the blur percussion salesman, i finally reserved the rain stick and paid for it. like, omg! though i could see my bank account shrinking for a while, but i know that for that payment i made, it'll made people happy, like me :D yesterday, i was supposed to get a call from swee lee, but they didn't and anyways, i was too tired to make a call to them yesterday so i just overlook it. then just, i was so irritated because they haven't called to confirm yet, that i made a call to the duno-what outlet. omg, the call was just infuriating. i called, then got transferred to the music factory outlet, then this guy asked me to call back in five mins. so when i called back, he thought i wanted to make a reservation to buy an instrument. then i got so irritated, like hello? i already paid for the rain stick and now you're telling me that it's not around? and he sounded like he was advertising for the rain stick, premier brand, aka rain-making or don't know what. not exactly blaming him, but at that moment, i thought my money will just fly away and got cheated by that sales person, which i hope not. then he asked me to call swee lee to ask, so i called and i was given another number to call, and that was the in charge of the instrument fair. so till now, i've already gotten and received nine calls in total, and thank god, it's settled. the rain stick that costs $135 is now mine! hooray! :D haha, maybe i should keep it for myself, since i paid so much lesser than what it used to be. yay! omg, i am so relieved now. just now when i was speaking to the factory outlet guy, i was angry that i could feel my whole ear turning hot. really, i thought i was cheated and i was already going to prepare like a letter to complain or something :p but since now it's already settled, i rest my case :) and that lady at swee lee is so nice and so cute! she was afraid that i might get scolded for not getting the rain stick on time, because she knows i was from sajc band and erm, yes, then she started "squealing" and saying "oh no!". haha, terribly cute. :D :D :D such a happy event to make my day bright. and i rmb last year, sentosa's fountain of youth performance was a big present for me :) i miss that performance a lot and yes! i should hurry go develop the tape and share with everyone! hopefully everyone won't start laughing cos mr jeow had a close up on me, which isn't a very good thing. oh wells. i am happy today! and oh, thank you, ahbu for talking to me, while i was panicking when i was at swee lee. <3 Signed, 3:42 p.m.
there was rehearsal on pieces for junior band fest (jbf) today! like hooray! i'm quite high about the pieces we're playing, or rather, just that one piece :D perhaps it's gonna be our batch piece, like what john said. come watch jbf (if there is sale of tickets anywhere)! it's gonna be good because there's us and that piece we're playing. PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN copacabana and abba gold tough rhythm works in pirates. i'm sorry to have caused so much troubles, but i'll definitely get my part done. triplets and more triplets. the whole part is just triplets that're the wow section. i like the pirates of the carribean piece. it reminds me of the pieces we used to play in sc. star of dreams etc. that sort of publisher, that sort of fonts. they're all alike. and! it also reminds me of the chronicles of narnia! it was long practising minutes (instead of hours) for it and perth trip repertoire didnt include it at all. it was a pity, sucha nice and exciting piece. i liked it :D perhaps it's the only place where i can perform confidently without feeling the stress. the j-twos have already stepped down, the entire band room felt so quiet and cold suddenly. maybe it's because of the smaller no. of people in the band room. but i guess, the seniors never really left us at all. moses's spirit live in us(!), which probably isn't a very good thing after all. we might just grow really fat, which we all so don't want. but alas! we secretly went to cafe to roam around, hoping that accidentally, the tidbits store might be open. and the uncle came just in time and we bought snacks and smuggled into band room! we did it so hilariously that i felt like a thief =P and they used the moses's way of hiding food, which is making use of the files! aha. that's so auntie moses! :D but anyways, our section is so tame and quiet now. it feels a bit strange :( before i forget, happy b'day, joo yeow! and i'm sure you're missing us a lot! and please stop mugging, give yourself a break, have a kit kat! :D arm muscles are aching from whacking. but i just love fortissimo. double fs :D Signed, 11:47 p.m.
it's just like a hot topic for today. finally, it's parent-meet-tutor (pmt) session. all i have to say, she's worse than a witch. the whole day, pmt was really like the topic. i was saying how, if she comes offending me, i'll be the headlines of the newspapers tmr. "sajc student strangles teacher". i wouldn't mind being the headlines for tmr, but it'll just be another negative point about this college. i hope this isn't slandering. i cannot afford for lawyer fees. the witch made me and my mom wait for her to arrive, and claims that she was looking the wrong clock. who believes. she settled down and i saw a gruesome sight; she picked her nose in front of us. like, okkkkk. is that what we're supposed to get for waiting? and i thought my mom will defend me, but i had to protect her in the end. she started insulting my mom, sorta blaming for not monitoring my studies etc and she wanted to fight, of course, using words. whatever i said, she wanted to rebut me. xuanlei warned me not to quarrel with her, and i obviously can't do it cos she was furiously getting on my nerves. like, insulting me wasn't enough and she had to drag my mom in as well. go and die okay? "what do you plan to do? what have you been doing? are you doing anything to salvage the situation?" alright, go and die okay. i gave her the "i will think about it" answer and she's obviously not happy with it. never expect that life will be a bed of roses, but not to this extent that after a long day, and i still have to face this crap shit thing. even kiaboon is pissed off with her. like get lost man. and her dad's my new idol. she told me, her dad scolded that witch off! hooray! to kiaboon's dad. he rock the world man. well, she didn't rebut the witch, though i told her she could anyways, because that was what i did. rebutted her all the way, i'm sure she's not pleased with me. but seriously, who cares. those are my grades, not yours. stop poking your head into my matters! she claims, i feel for you. oh please. for all that she did to me, us and everyone else, i'm sure it's more class bonding on monday, all thanks to her, the second biggest witch. she doesn't deserve my respect. oh yes, on a happier note, happy bday, mingwei! Signed, 10:05 p.m.
today was such a marvelous day. i thought i'll get myself in deep crap shit when miss ho wanted to meet me today, regarding commontest results. i was totally scared, like don't really know what's gonna happen etc, and i thought i'll just burst into tears because i'm just too weak for these. but ended up, i amused my own self and probably miss ho got amused by me as well. i ended up laughing at whatever i was saying, like some schizophrenic. but the session was good. i just told her whatever i reflected upon my results when i got them back and i can only conclude that she's a great teacher <3 if only she won't leave. i think we'll have a much better life. but nevertheless, we all know how much she fought for us, how much she care for us, and how much she love us :D chem consultation. like omg! after the session, i've learnt so much more than i did during those lectures. and the session is so much more enjoyable because i spent three quarter of the time laughing and mr koh had to use hints to attempt to make me stop laughing. hahaha! mr koh is just so funny, i cannot stop laughing. and poor kailing. i couldn't actually tell her what i was laughing about cos it'll just be too embarrassing. but chem was indeed, terribly enjoyable and plus point is, i learnt about free radicals, difference between benzene and cyclohexane, chiral centres, geometrical isomers. both of us wanted to continue on alkenes today, and arenes another day, but mr koh objected and said, alkenes have to be with arenes. blablah. but actual fact, he was tired from teaching us too. he was yawning while waiting for us to finish some simple mcq and was playing his phone games while waiting too! ah ha! wouldn't blame him, i was like fiddling with my phone and yawning too. oh! and during pw, we just had nothing to do (though a lot have to be done, but alas!), and it was pouring suddenly that i was not paying attention to whatever he was flashing on the screen and just looking at the misty sky with the heavy downpour. he knows everyone was restless, so he cracked some simple lame jokes, as usual. and he broke the code of my lock, how unfortunate. let's just pray that he won't crash my locker, together with weiyun, who brilliantly cracked the code as well. basically, he's such a mysterious person. he's always smiling at heavens-knows-what and always has that cheeky face. i guess, i'm just glad that i got him as CT. after chem, both of us were really tired (perhaps it was three of us. haha). so we called it a day and went to ps to get some ornaments for our locker :D didn't get what we wanted in the end, cos there wasn't stock for it. but got something really cute! heh, all thanks to me who discovered it! and i'm going back to that shop to get the "spirited away" toy. omg, kawaii :D ^^ the month of august just get me really high each year. it's no doubt the month when exams start pouring, everyone gets busy, with no life to speak of. but still, it gets me high. i'm looking forward to twenty-5th, but not twenty-6th. twenty-six, the day i'll spend thinking of perky. Signed, 10:24 p.m.
john explained that, junior band fest is a performance and it made me happy for nothing. initially, i thought it was some competition, like how fun. but no. it's some performance for the really junior bands around, like secondary ones and twos (?) and probably primary school bands as well (?). bleah. the more worrying part is that, we've gotta play pop pieces. i know i have faith and confidence in zhiqi but it tends to be a little worrying here and there. moreover, he doesn't really like the all-girls section, which doesn't make the situation better. i pray that the situation will only get better and better :) i'm beginning to realise my mistake and start working very hard for promos. i don't think i really want the stupid "curse" to fall upon me, neither do i want it to fall upon the rest of them. bleah. and my mom is made to see the hod of whatever department she's from. rarr. her name is kang and she's gonna see the classes, 27 and 28. how unfortunate. but luckily, i'm gonna be there, to protect myself and hopefully my mom will protect me too. i'm going to see mr koh for chem consultation tmr. hooray! finally getting down to work. yada! :D i will forgive those who koped photos from me. aha :p practices for the new syf piece is gonna start. how exciting it's gonna be when we're short of players. bleah. now we need probably eleven players or more. honestly speaking, i was rather disappointed when i saw that the piece didn't have a timpani part. then, today, the timpani score popped outta no where and it really surprised me. not that i have to play the timps, but it always saddens me when there isn't any timps for any pieces. i wanna protect the well being of the timpanis! :D because sad to say, they're in rather sad state now :( misconceptions about timpani playing. i rather not mention. too bad that i'm trained in this aspect. but i got my confidence on that, so i declare. i love timpanis! :D Signed, 6:08 p.m.
it was just last week when we had the combine band concert. how fast time really go by and i miss preparing for that combine concert. it's perhaps pointless to say how our hardwork was paid off, for it's only us who knows all that happened, the miracle made, and the wish that came true. oh, and i haven't thank those who came for "one family, one flag". thank you all for coming, those who i sold my tickets to, athena, constance, weiting, liao, joanne, vanessa (and friend), wanyi, paul, jeanette, abigail, sweelin (and friend), lynn (and friend), jessalynn (and her friend) and those who ordered extra tickets! oh yes! not to not mention, kailing, her friend and bernice! basically, everyone's presence was felt. though i know the repertoire is slightly boring for those who dont really like band music. sorry to all, who accidentally fell asleep "by mistake". i understand. oh boy. my craving for fries is never diminishing. ah! i want fries, like very badly. it's time to visit macs again, though macs fries aren't very healthy, i know. bleah :( aiyoxzxzx. i wan 2 eat frensh fries lehzxzxz. oh yeas, band dinner was great. but i was screwed. nothing much to talk about it. but next year will be better for me. Signed, 5:25 p.m.
peace excitedly told me to check out her blog earlier, and i read the post she added. she koped it from yunru and while reading the entry, it brought back fond memories from the concert. i trust yunru's comments about the concert cos it was what i was thinking, though i didnt exactly listen to the whole concert through the speakers in the backstage room. oh wait, happy birthday, singapore! "one family, one flag" is over. there isn't much events to look forward to now, there isn't much to expect now. everything's gonna be still and dull. so when will the real excitement come? i realised that i'm never gonna put my real skills to use for there isn't any part for it and all they need is seven of them. so is that an indication? i miss having concerts but i rather not have concerts everyday for the people say, you'll learn to treasure when you lose it. and i rmb peace said that it was an understatement. Signed, 3:57 p.m.
it ended on a wonderful note yesterday at the esplanade concert hall. the music we made, the miracle there was, the dream that came true, the memories that are left with us. everything is perfect, everything is wonderful. all the hardwork, from carrying of instruments to and fro esplanade hall, to logistic packing like score filing, was paid off with a 200% return. it was them who made my first esplanade concert a big success. it was them who gave me a chance to perform in esplanade concert hall. it was them who left footprints of memories in me. it was them, whom i love. sajs, sas, sajc and sab percussion. thank you so much for bringing so much joy and laughter into my life. i wanna acknowledge them, for it was them who created miracle in my life. i will try and carry on, for them. dominic, jerrald, ben thia, bryan, ian, jeremiah, linus, moses, jooyeow, ben, lilian, peace, bernadette, becca, wanling, sylvia, ying jia, zhiqi, ganesh. these people are the most lovable people on earth, for they brought joy and laughter to other people's life. thank you so much, percussion. for you, i'll try my best to carry on. Signed, 1:34 p.m.
someone told me today's rehearsal will be a super slack one cos all the bands will dilly dally around and what's more, i'm only playing four pieces outta the whole concert. i forgot who was it, but that someone is totally wrong. i'm feeling all-so tired, from running to gallery to help bryan, linus and jeremiah to carry the timps, to quietly sitting in the middle of the band room packing files for three bands. it was mentally draining and i was still told to set good example and help carry some stuff. but i ignored the villians all the way, despite them calling all sorts of names except my real name. how annoying. and people like dominic should be taped on the mouth instead of those being taupok-ed. he just couldn't stop blabbering when we were checking files. i'm glad i made him silent for at least ten mins? but it was good entertainment, i told him. his random and lame acts, or so he claims, made the tired us laugh aloud. it was really, LOL. but i'm pretty sorry cos a timp score is missing. i'm not sure if i was the one who lose it, but it's still my fault that it's not in the file. i knew i should have checked his file too before leaving the band room. it's a great tiring day. but it's worth it as it is all for what tomorrow might bring to us. no regrets, but just happiness and laughter. i think i'll miss the whole perc section of about thirty people. the people who left footprints during "one family, one flag". Signed, 10:56 p.m.
today's practice was just remarkable. we started with sectionals, everyone was just in a pretty good mood. we ended off with full band, everyone was in terribly good mood. the mighty one was in good mood too! everyone was damn happy. and i'm so damn proud of us. and i'm sure concert will be a big bang! watch us shine in esplanade! :D Signed, 9:53 p.m.
iron deficiency and anemia. and the keyword is thalassemia minor. small red blood cells, blablah. luckily or not, there's no need for constant blood transfusions. once again, i think i might have dislocated that knee again. like what she'll say, too bad blablah. i hope i won't have to visit that sinseh who charged me thirty bucks for the eletric treatment before the concert this sunday. i'm getting prolly a little hyped up now. just a little. it happens for every concert and perhaps a little meaningless to keep getting hyped up and tone-ing down before and after a concert. but the point about wearing a bow tie for concert isn't getting me hyped up. i don't wanna feel like a present and do what a present does. yadayada. it was intended to be a "quick, let's take lots of photos" session, but that point strucked all of us, and perhaps we should tone down on our photo frenzy mood. it's another probably four days to our concert. a dream to be realised, a memory to be created, an experience to be gone through. i didn't sell as many tickets as i did, as compared to "saints ascencio!" but hey, "one family, one flag" will definitely be better than that. i assure those who are going to appear on that day, to support those performing. The Moonlight © By Giridhar Mohanarangan A Glistening surface with misty white waves, A glowing ball producing many streams of light That could hit the stars. The gloomy walkway was completely submerged in total darkness From the moon, radiance was shone, A milky current of light That shone on the dingy path. Pale white and sparkling with grace, as it scanned the surface of the trail. I was out for a stroll in the moonlight The wind howled loudly, piercing a hole in the air My body shivered, as invisible Glacial army of winds shot through me. My face was completely encased, and bathed In an invisible basin which was filled With glinting rays of light from the moon. It was a misty jet of radiance that illuminated the dark night. A translucent, glossy sphere that floated through mid-air. A misty orb that hung loose, igniting a pale light. The Moonlight. Signed, 6:45 p.m.
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weirui. eighteen to be. diaryland misc. 06; march. april. may. june. july. august. september. october. november. december. 07; january. february. march. april. may. june. july. august. |